[weepingwillow03/blog.html/]

13/07/2025

hey internet, its been a while. i dont know who sees these but honestly i missed writing them. im currently sat on a chair in my balcony with my laptop on my lap as i type this. its been a weird couple of weeks since the last time i made an entry. im on estrogen now! my body is slowly becoming more and more my own. i still have some crazy dysphoric episodes, and i doubt theyre going away for good, but they sure are getting less annoying the happier i become with my body. i feel more like me, if anything.
im due to start taking setraline in a couple days so theres also that. hopefully it helps. i did my finals. cant say im happy with the way they went though, but who cares. at least im done with school, and hopefully ill get into university this year. if i cant do it, ill get a job, work hard to retake my exams and try again next year. but hopefully it wont come to that. its been so hot recently here in the uk. i feel like im melting and losing so much water. my skin feels dry if i dont drink water constantly, and remembering to drink water is a painnnnnn! but we vibe. honestly i dont know what im gonna do in life. ill take a game dev undergrad course at uni, thats for sure. but idk what im gonna "be". its kinda daunting thinking about it like that. i also made a new tumblr blog, ill adf it somewhere in this page soon. maybe tomorrow. is late today and im sleepy, although being in my balcony taking in some fresh night air helps me stay alert. welp, its summer now! has been for about a month. im really enjoying the free time, but i hope i can get a job soon. i wouldnt mind working a bit to make some money and get outta the house, ya know? so what have i been doing? well, i got a few games in the steam summer sale: cruelty squad, stardew valley, and the one im really obssessed about: ULTRAKILL!!!! its been a blast to tear through crowds of hellspawn XD! it reminds me of when my friend lent me a copy of doom 1993. i suck at doom, but ultrakill is more up my alley! im getting better at it, rn im trying to beat wrath. the lore is also so expansive, i love it so much! ive been rewatching the owl house lately and crying a lot to it... its so cute and gay lol. the boiling isles being the remains of a titan is also really fascinating. ive been playing on a minecraft SMP with a bunch of online friends for the past two weeks and its going great! i might build something like the boiling isles for my megabase. a city on a corpse. also yes, i like minecraft again. at least with friends. singleplayer is not for me anymore, too boring.
well, thats it for tonight, im a sleepy girl. hopefully i wont take a literal two months to write here again. bye bye website :3

16/05/2025

its fucking friday bitches LETS GOOOOO!!!!!
i ordered my estrogen yayaya

08/05/2025

i really wanna get back to playing some terraria. maybe ill try calamity for the first time sometime.
today was a shit day and i feel super dysphoric and dissociated all day. i cant stop crying. i just dont wanna think about my finals. i dont care anymore.

04/05/2025

so i feel pretty now but i feel like my entire personality is changing. i dont really like minecraft anymore and i feel extremely bored playing it now. my music taste is changing quite a bit or at least being expanded. sometimes i feel like my personality is being reduced to my looks but other times i feel like im being extremely enhanced in every way
i dont know what to make of this
is this good
am i just growing up?